Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
