The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
She's JV to your varsity
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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