I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
