I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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