wanna go halves on a baby?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
