you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
