I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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