dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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