Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
