Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
one might say we're banned from that church
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
