i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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