At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
