i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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