Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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