Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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