Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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