He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
