God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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