he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
