His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
