i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
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I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
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You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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