Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
