So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
