thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
