These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
