We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
