I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
