Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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