is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
