i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
