I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
