it was like his penis was on wheels.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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