my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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