Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
