I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
