did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
