once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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