We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
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I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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