Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I came so hard my ears popped.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
