so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
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Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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