I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
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i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
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the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I supernannyed him into submission
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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