i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
