I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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