I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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