took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
