i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
