in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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