I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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