i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
