I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
