Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
and you fell through a lawn chair
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
