the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
