"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize