is your mom at the bar?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
