We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
