i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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