There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
how can u be prego again
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Sober January is a disaster.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
