there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
honey bunches of taint.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize