how can u be prego again
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize