this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
