I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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